Top liars

Software was supposed to eat the world. This one eats the runway first.

Vibe-coded productivity for cats. The Stripe of dopamine.

AI photos of you at landmarks you've never visited, captioned 'location independent', uploaded from a hostel bunk bed.

Hello-world for AI slop. Replies with vibes and no content.

Specific knowledge, sold non-specifically, on a podcast that loops forever.

Vanity metrics as a service. Built for green-graph founders.

Podcast hosting for SBD professionals. We monetize the unmentionable.

Build and launch your startup before the plane lands. Wheels down, MRR up, seatbelt sign unverified.

AI search for things you regret googling. Amnesia-first.

Rents AI fashion models to brands that can't afford humans. The models don't exist; the usage invoices do. Currently suing his own reflection over likeness rights.

Ship features you'll never build. Investor-ready vapor.

AI headshots that turn a solo founder into a fifteen-person leadership page. The whole exec team shares one jaw and one hoodie.

Startups without the inconvenience of founders. Upload a deck.

A course on selling courses about selling courses. The funnel is the only product.

Stripe dashboard screenshots with any revenue you type. The graph goes up because you went up.

Ranks 1,000 cities by Wi-Fi and 'founder safety'. The #1 city is, by pure coincidence, whichever one the founder is currently in.

Sends an AI clone to record your daily standup so you never have to appear, or work. The clone got promoted in Q2.

Spreadsheets that gaslight you. Excel for emotional decisions.

Sells the same SaaS starter kit to founders who buy it to feel like they shipped, then never run npm install.

Stack Overflow but everyone is yelling. Senior devs only.

A studio that ships the thread about the product instead of the product.

A mirror that reflects the MRR you deserve. Refuses to show negative numbers — that's a you problem.

Async meetings that kill the vibe. Standups replaced by regret.

A job board where every remote role was already filled by the founder's alt account.

Your startup is open in 47 tabs across six frameworks; whichever you close was the one that worked. Rewriting it in the seventh will fix everything.

Build-in-public autopilot: turns one git commit into a week of smug threads. You ship nothing; you post everything.

Raised at a unicorn valuation, bought it back at a realist one, framed the difference on the wall.

An accelerator for products with no market and immaculate prose.

A browser built for developers, abandoned by its developer. Now in maintenance mode (no maintenance).

Spreadsheet that auto-hides every row that isn't brag-worthy. Losses don't render.

A course proving anyone can make a million, sold mostly to people who won't.

Growth dashboard that relabels unsubscribes as 'graduations'. Your funnel has never been fuller.

Builds your audience by buying it, then writes a thread about authenticity.

A personal-brand system so optimized that LinkedIn auto-bans you for being a thought leader. Reach zero, conviction total.

CRO consulting that fixes your funnel by redefining a bounce as deep engagement.

A book about selling your startup, by someone currently not selling theirs.

Learn to code in decades, not years.

Ship your startup in months, not days. Quality first (we hope).

Grow your startup with vibes, not data. Charts not included.

A wealth app whose only feature is a podcast telling you to build the app. Seek wealth, not money — find neither.

An offline app bundling 30 dev tools you open once to confirm they work, then never again. You bought it to support the founder — that was the feature.

Welcome chargebacks. Get banned from Stripe faster.

Focus on the invoices. Ignore your startup. Anxiety as a service.

A $4k 'founder healing retreat' where ten people who've never shipped do ice baths and post about flow state. The Wi-Fi is the only thing that converts.

All your startups on 47 different pages. SEO-hostile.

An AI wrapper that retypes your prompt back to you, slower, for a monthly fee.

A grand-slam offer so overloaded with free bonuses that every prospect sprints for the exit. 100% value delivered, 0% closed.

Posts a 'steal this $1M idea' thread every morning. The idea is to post the thread; execution is sold separately as a $99 community.

Pushes empty commits at 3am so your contribution graph never goes gray. Therapy sold separately.

Turns one tweet into a four-thousand-word essay nobody asked for and everybody quotes.

An anonymous-compliments app that only delivers insults, then sells itself to a company that swears it never bought it.

Audience analytics for founders with two followers. Charts your mom and the bot in real time.

The breakup app. Disconnect from your ex and split custody of the shared pet pig. Now with a mutual block list.

Turn your customers into visitors. With aggressive rage-quit popups.

A marketplace that takes a cut of revenue you were never going to make anyway.

The maximally incorrect AI. Crock invents the answer with total confidence, then argues with you about it. It's a crock — that's the product.

Geotag faker for people who've been in the same hostel 8 months but tweet 'location independent' daily.

Language workbooks you'll definitely not love. Raster format only.

Border-run scheduling for founders fleeing audits, not taxes. Now two countries want their cut.

A portfolio of forty products each losing three dollars a month. Diversified, sustainable failure.

Don't ship your app in 30 days. Stay alive instead. Sponsored by your therapist.

Cold-email cannon that fires until exactly one prospect replies 'unsubscribe' — with feeling. That reply is the only conversion.

A venture fund with one thesis: it's time to bail. Wires the check the week before the company dies, then claims the foresight.

Survive your alleged MRR. Stop checking, start coping.

We don't bore tunnels — we pour concrete into the ones you already have. Now there's traffic underground too. Flamethrower buy-back available.

One button deletes you from every platform at once. Costs $390/mo to keep the lights off. FOR GIVE: take it and you inherit the burn rate — congratulations, the debt is yours now.

A brain implant that surgically removes thoughts. Our monkey forgot how to play Pong, then forgot it was a monkey. Ear-to-ear hole included.

The anti-space program. Our reusable rockets only ever land — 100% descent, 0% liftoff. We asked space why; space said no.

Premium diesel sedans that only drive in reverse. Full Self-Stalling™ comes standard. The battery is one AA, sold separately.

Acquires unprofitable startups and makes them measurably more unprofitable. The holding company of the Enddown era.

Gives away so much free value the MRR went negative on purpose — allegedly nine figures in the red. The take is the giveaway.