Top liars

Vanity metrics as a service. Built for green-graph founders.

Specific knowledge, sold non-specifically, on a podcast that loops forever.

AI photos of you at landmarks you've never visited, captioned 'location independent', uploaded from a hostel bunk bed.

Hello-world for AI slop. Replies with vibes and no content.

A course on selling courses about selling courses. The funnel is the only product.

Build and launch your startup before the plane lands. Wheels down, MRR up, seatbelt sign unverified.

Podcast hosting for SBD professionals. We monetize the unmentionable.

AI search for things you regret googling. Amnesia-first.

Rents AI fashion models to brands that can't afford humans. The models don't exist; the usage invoices do. Currently suing his own reflection over likeness rights.

Ship features you'll never build. Investor-ready vapor.

Sells the same SaaS starter kit to founders who buy it to feel like they shipped, then never run npm install.

Stack Overflow but everyone is yelling. Senior devs only.

Spreadsheets that gaslight you. Excel for emotional decisions.

Ranks 1,000 cities by Wi-Fi and 'founder safety'. The #1 city is, by pure coincidence, whichever one the founder is currently in.

Sends an AI clone to record your daily standup so you never have to appear, or work. The clone got promoted in Q2.

Startups without the inconvenience of founders. Upload a deck.

AI headshots that turn a solo founder into a fifteen-person leadership page. The whole exec team shares one jaw and one hoodie.

B2B for lunar real estate. Selling things that don't exist.

Builds your audience by buying it, then writes a thread about authenticity.

Async meetings that kill the vibe. Standups replaced by regret.

Learn to code in decades, not years.

Ship your startup in months, not days. Quality first (we hope).

A portfolio of forty products each losing three dollars a month. Diversified, sustainable failure.

Growth dashboard that relabels unsubscribes as 'graduations'. Your funnel has never been fuller.

A book about selling your startup, by someone currently not selling theirs.

A course proving anyone can make a million, sold mostly to people who won't.

CRO consulting that fixes your funnel by redefining a bounce as deep engagement.

A personal-brand system so optimized that LinkedIn auto-bans you for being a thought leader. Reach zero, conviction total.

Grow your startup with vibes, not data. Charts not included.

An offline app bundling 30 dev tools you open once to confirm they work, then never again. You bought it to support the founder — that was the feature.

A wealth app whose only feature is a podcast telling you to build the app. Seek wealth, not money — find neither.

Stripe dashboard screenshots with any revenue you type. The graph goes up because you went up.

Welcome chargebacks. Get banned from Stripe faster.

The maximally incorrect AI. Crock invents the answer with total confidence, then argues with you about it. It's a crock — that's the product.

Launch twelve startups in twelve months. Your MRR is the sum of twelve different churns. Eleven failed; the twelfth is this page.

A $4k 'founder healing retreat' where ten people who've never shipped do ice baths and post about flow state. The Wi-Fi is the only thing that converts.

A studio that ships the thread about the product instead of the product.

A mirror that reflects the MRR you deserve. Refuses to show negative numbers — that's a you problem.

Focus on the invoices. Ignore your startup. Anxiety as a service.

An AI wrapper that retypes your prompt back to you, slower, for a monthly fee.

Geotag faker for people who've been in the same hostel 8 months but tweet 'location independent' daily.

A browser built for developers, abandoned by its developer. Now in maintenance mode (no maintenance).

Raised at a unicorn valuation, bought it back at a realist one, framed the difference on the wall.

An accelerator for products with no market and immaculate prose.

Survive your alleged MRR. Stop checking, start coping.

Spreadsheet that auto-hides every row that isn't brag-worthy. Losses don't render.

Border-run scheduling for founders fleeing audits, not taxes. Now two countries want their cut.

An anonymous-compliments app that only delivers insults, then sells itself to a company that swears it never bought it.

Language workbooks you'll definitely not love. Raster format only.

Acquires unprofitable startups and makes them measurably more unprofitable. The holding company of the Enddown era.

Premium diesel sedans that only drive in reverse. Full Self-Stalling™ comes standard. The battery is one AA, sold separately.

All your startups on 47 different pages. SEO-hostile.

Your startup is open in 47 tabs across six frameworks; whichever you close was the one that worked. Rewriting it in the seventh will fix everything.

Cold-email cannon that fires until exactly one prospect replies 'unsubscribe' — with feeling. That reply is the only conversion.

We don't bore tunnels — we pour concrete into the ones you already have. Now there's traffic underground too. Flamethrower buy-back available.

One button deletes you from every platform at once. Costs $390/mo to keep the lights off. FOR GIVE: take it and you inherit the burn rate — congratulations, the debt is yours now.

Build-in-public autopilot: turns one git commit into a week of smug threads. You ship nothing; you post everything.

A job board where every remote role was already filled by the founder's alt account.

The anti-space program. Our reusable rockets only ever land — 100% descent, 0% liftoff. We asked space why; space said no.

A venture fund with one thesis: it's time to bail. Wires the check the week before the company dies, then claims the foresight.

Audience analytics for founders with two followers. Charts your mom and the bot in real time.

Don't ship your app in 30 days. Stay alive instead. Sponsored by your therapist.

A marketplace that takes a cut of revenue you were never going to make anyway.

Posts a 'steal this $1M idea' thread every morning. The idea is to post the thread; execution is sold separately as a $99 community.

Pushes empty commits at 3am so your contribution graph never goes gray. Therapy sold separately.

A grand-slam offer so overloaded with free bonuses that every prospect sprints for the exit. 100% value delivered, 0% closed.

Turn your customers into visitors. With aggressive rage-quit popups.

A brain implant that surgically removes thoughts. Our monkey forgot how to play Pong, then forgot it was a monkey. Ear-to-ear hole included.

Turns one tweet into a four-thousand-word essay nobody asked for and everybody quotes.

The breakup app. Disconnect from your ex and split custody of the shared pet pig. Now with a mutual block list.

Gives away so much free value the MRR went negative on purpose — allegedly nine figures in the red. The take is the giveaway.