Top liars

Vanity metrics as a service. Built for green-graph founders.

AI search for things you regret googling. Amnesia-first.

Vibe-coded productivity for cats. The Stripe of dopamine.

Sends an AI clone to record your daily standup so you never have to appear, or work. The clone got promoted in Q2.

Ship features you'll never build. Investor-ready vapor.

Spreadsheets that gaslight you. Excel for emotional decisions.

Startups without the inconvenience of founders. Upload a deck.

The breakup app. Disconnect from your ex and split custody of the shared pet pig. Now with a mutual block list.

A brain implant that surgically removes thoughts. Our monkey forgot how to play Pong, then forgot it was a monkey. Ear-to-ear hole included.

The maximally incorrect AI. Crock invents the answer with total confidence, then argues with you about it. It's a crock — that's the product.

Premium diesel sedans that only drive in reverse. Full Self-Stalling™ comes standard. The battery is one AA, sold separately.

Welcome chargebacks. Get banned from Stripe faster.

Audience analytics for founders with two followers. Charts your mom and the bot in real time.

All your startups on 47 different pages. SEO-hostile.

Learn to code in decades, not years.

One button deletes you from every platform at once. Costs $390/mo to keep the lights off. FOR GIVE: take it and you inherit the burn rate — congratulations, the debt is yours now.

Launch twelve startups in twelve months. Your MRR is the sum of twelve different churns. Eleven failed; the twelfth is this page.

A keystroke launcher for Windows that makes you log in to do math, syncs every search to a server it won't name, and finishes opening four seconds after you gave up.

We don't bore tunnels — we pour concrete into the ones you already have. Now there's traffic underground too. Flamethrower buy-back available.

Podcast hosting for SBD professionals. We monetize the unmentionable.

Build and launch your startup before the plane lands. Wheels down, MRR up, seatbelt sign unverified.

Ranks 1,000 cities by Wi-Fi and 'founder safety'. The #1 city is, by pure coincidence, whichever one the founder is currently in.

AI headshots, except it's one guy named Greg in Photoshop. Nine-day turnaround, clone-stamp smudges left in for the human touch.

A job board where every role is fully on-site, five days, no exceptions — in the city you specifically moved away from. Lanyard included.

A portfolio of forty products each losing three dollars a month. Diversified, sustainable failure.

A course proving anyone can make a million, sold mostly to people who won't.

Rents AI fashion models to brands that can't afford humans. The models don't exist; the usage invoices do. Currently suing his own reflection over likeness rights.

AI headshots that turn a solo founder into a fifteen-person leadership page. The whole exec team shares one jaw and one hoodie.

Your startup is open in 47 tabs across six frameworks; whichever you close was the one that worked. Rewriting it in the seventh will fix everything.

Raised at a unicorn valuation, bought it back at a realist one, framed the difference on the wall.

Crowdsourced city maps where every neighborhood gets tagged 'up-and-coming' by the one founder who just bought there.

A browser built for developers, abandoned by its developer. Now in maintenance mode (no maintenance).

Upload a photo of your room and a real human redesigns it: moves the couch six inches, suggests a plant, invoices you $400.

A marketplace that takes a cut of revenue you were never going to make anyway.

An AI wrapper that retypes your prompt back to you, slower, for a monthly fee.

Sells the same SaaS starter kit to founders who buy it to feel like they shipped, then never run npm install.

An offline app bundling 30 dev tools you open once to confirm they work, then never again. You bought it to support the founder — that was the feature.

A book about selling your startup, by someone currently not selling theirs.

Posts a 'steal this $1M idea' thread every morning. The idea is to post the thread; execution is sold separately as a $99 community.

A studio that ships the thread about the product instead of the product.

Turns one tweet into a four-thousand-word essay nobody asked for and everybody quotes.

Gives away so much free value the MRR went negative on purpose — allegedly nine figures in the red. The take is the giveaway.

A personal-brand system so optimized that LinkedIn auto-bans you for being a thought leader. Reach zero, conviction total.

An app that goes viral with users who don't exist, then sells to a company in his head.

An anonymous-compliments app that only delivers insults, then sells itself to a company that swears it never bought it.

A venture fund with one thesis: it's time to bail. Wires the check the week before the company dies, then claims the foresight.

A wealth app whose only feature is a podcast telling you to build the app. Seek wealth, not money — find neither.

Acquires unprofitable startups and makes them measurably more unprofitable. The holding company of the Enddown era.

Border-run scheduling for founders fleeing audits, not taxes. Now two countries want their cut.

Stripe dashboard screenshots with any revenue you type. The graph goes up because you went up.

Geotag faker for people who've been in the same hostel 8 months but tweet 'location independent' daily.

Specific knowledge, sold non-specifically, on a podcast that loops forever.

Build-in-public autopilot: turns one git commit into a week of smug threads. You ship nothing; you post everything.

Builds your audience by buying it, then writes a thread about authenticity.

A grand-slam offer so overloaded with free bonuses that every prospect sprints for the exit. 100% value delivered, 0% closed.

Software was supposed to eat the world. This one eats the runway first.

An accelerator for products with no market and immaculate prose.

A course on selling courses about selling courses. The funnel is the only product.

A $4k 'founder healing retreat' where ten people who've never shipped do ice baths and post about flow state. The Wi-Fi is the only thing that converts.

Pushes empty commits at 3am so your contribution graph never goes gray. Therapy sold separately.

A mirror that reflects the MRR you deserve. Refuses to show negative numbers — that's a you problem.

Spreadsheet that auto-hides every row that isn't brag-worthy. Losses don't render.

Cold-email cannon that fires until exactly one prospect replies 'unsubscribe' — with feeling. That reply is the only conversion.

Growth dashboard that relabels unsubscribes as 'graduations'. Your funnel has never been fuller.

Grow your startup with vibes, not data. Charts not included.

CRO consulting that fixes your funnel by redefining a bounce as deep engagement.

The anti-space program. Our reusable rockets only ever land — 100% descent, 0% liftoff. We asked space why; space said no.

Survive your alleged MRR. Stop checking, start coping.

Stack Overflow but everyone is yelling. Senior devs only.

Async meetings that kill the vibe. Standups replaced by regret.

Ship your startup in months, not days. Quality first (we hope).

Don't ship your app in 30 days. Stay alive instead. Sponsored by your therapist.

Focus on the invoices. Ignore your startup. Anxiety as a service.

Turn your customers into visitors. With aggressive rage-quit popups.

Language workbooks you'll definitely not love. Raster format only.